Podcast
Three Degrees: The Life-Changing Shift of Parenthood
Graduate students balance family and education.
Parenthood changes everything鈥攚hen you wake up, when you sleep, when and what you eat, how you spend money and most importantly, how you spend your time. For graduate students who are also raising children, that shift can feel even more profound. At Towson University, student parents are proving that while raising kids and pursuing higher education isn鈥檛 easy, it鈥檚 possible with determination, resilience and support.
Ahmed鈥檚 Story: From Uganda to Towson
For Ahmed Satti, father of four, graduate school was not part of his original plan. But when he decided to pursue a master鈥檚 degree in geography and environmental planning, his first challenge was simply getting to the United States.
Ahmed, who is Sudanese, was living with his family in Uganda, and applied for a visa both there and in his home country. He soon learned that the embassy in Uganda had a two-year backlog; fortunately, he was offered a visa appointment in Sudan. 鈥淪o I had to leave my family, um, not knowing if I would get the visa or not,鈥� he recalls. 鈥淎nd also the fact that we're not from Uganda, having to close down the whole house. So I left all of that for them in Uganda鈥� Luckily, the risk paid off鈥攈e received his visa and reunited with his wife and children in the U.S. a month later.
When you make your children your priority in life, everything falls into place.
Ahmed
Still, the transition wasn鈥檛 easy. 鈥淏ack home you have this, um, support network,鈥� Ahmed says. 鈥淓verybody has a nanny, everybody has a driver, everybody has a gardener. And then now to come and it's like you wash your own dishes, you have to cook. I have to do all the drop offs and pickups鈥t鈥檚 just a lot.鈥�
COVID-era online classes added another challenge. Ahmed remembers trying to focus during a Zoom lecture while his daughters practiced gymnastics in the background. 鈥淥ne of them, like, fell and knocked stuff over,鈥� he laughs. 鈥淎t the moment it was like I was really pissed off. But like later on, it was funny.鈥�
Despite the chaos, Ahmed has gained clarity. 鈥淢y kids are the most important thing in my life,鈥� he says. 鈥淲hen you make your children your priority in life, everything falls into place.鈥�
Chrissy鈥檚 Story: Pregnancy and Graduate School
For Chrissy, graduate school and motherhood collided in real time. 鈥淚 found out I was pregnant in October of 2023, and I started my grad program that following January,鈥� she recalls. 鈥淭his was all part of my master plan about how I can do everything. Sure. Why not? You know, be pregnant and start a master's program and go on maternity leave and have a three month old - like, 鈥渢hat shouldn't be hard鈥� is kind of what I was telling myself. Uh, yeah. It turned out, you know, sometimes true, sometimes not true.鈥�
Chrissy and her husband both work full time while raising their two-year-old daughter. For her, the key has been to prioritize intentionality. 鈥淢aking sure that we carve out time for us, making sure that we carve out time for our daughter, making sure that we carve out time for our friends and our family,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 think a lot of times, like it ends up being maybe less actual time that we want it to be, or that we would hope for, but because we're being more intentional about the time that we're spending, and the kind of the value of the time is greater.鈥�
She uses a simple framework to balance priorities: glass balls and rubber balls. 鈥淭he glass balls are things that like, if you were to drop, they shatter,鈥� she explains, 鈥渨hereas rubber balls are things like, yeah, sure, you might drop them, but they'll bounce back up.鈥� When her daughter came down with hand-foot-mouth disease just after Chrissy returned to work, she knew what mattered. 鈥淭hat was a glass ball,鈥� she said. 鈥淚 had to go immediately to daycare, take her to the doctor, pick her up. But that meant that, like, work. Yeah, sure. It'll be there. It'll bounce back.鈥�
Yeah, I think the, the, the biggest lesson is that, like, you can't do it all to the level that you want to do it鈥鈥檝e really learned to lean on other people.
Chrissy
But Chrissy admits she couldn鈥檛 do it alone. Her husband鈥檚 demanding schedule as a CPA means they often rely on family support. 鈥淥ftentimes we have to use our community,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 like to think about it as the time that my daughter is like spending away from us with other people in our in our village, if you will. Is that, like she's getting to build those bonds with those people.鈥�
Asking for help has been a learning curve. 鈥淚 hate鈥eeling like a burden,鈥� she admits. 鈥淏ut I've learned that, like, most of the time, people are more than happy to kind of be reached out to鈥� And so I've really learned to lean on other people as much as I might still be reluctant to do it. Um, I do know that, like, it one helps me. It helps them."
Christina鈥檚 Story: Choosing Family First
Not all student parents take the plunge immediately. Christina, a teacher and mother of three, postponed graduate school until her children were older. 鈥淕raduate school came later for me after I homeschooled my children...[and] supported my partner鈥檚 career,鈥� she says. 鈥淏y the time my children were around 12, 10, and I think 8鈥 went back to graduate school.鈥�
Her children were proud cheerleaders. 鈥淎t that age, they believed in me completely,鈥� she recalls. 鈥淭hey thought I was smart and could do anything. That support meant everything.鈥�
But Christina鈥檚 path was shaped by difficult choices and limited support. As an undergraduate, she had been encouraged toward a Ph.D.鈥攗ntil she got engaged. 鈥淪ome of my professors鈥aid they would not be able to write the same letters for me that they would have been able to write prior,鈥� she says. 鈥淥ne professor said that they felt that I was, um, just going to get married and have kids and that it wasn't going to work.鈥�
Sometimes you have to make a decision for yourself and for what you know that you need. Even if you don't have the support.
Christina
Though she was accepted into a few doctoral programs, her partner wasn鈥檛 supportive of relocating or delaying his own career. 鈥淗e said, you know, when the kids are older,鈥� she recalled. And several years later when she asked again he basically said that he liked me being in the supporting role as wife and mom.鈥�
Ultimately, Christina decided to pursue her degree anyway鈥攐n her own terms. 鈥淪ometimes you have to make a decision for yourself,鈥� she says. 鈥淓ven if you don鈥檛 have the support." A graduate assistantship covered her tuition and allowed her to move forward.
Building Support Systems for Student Parents
While each parent鈥檚 story is unique, their challenges reveal a common need for strong support systems. Kimberly Mocombe, project coordinator for Towson鈥檚 CCAMPIS program, sees this every day.
CCAMPIS, a federally funded grant, provides resources like childcare subsidies, textbook and Chromebook loaner programs, and even a family study room in the library.
鈥淚f you don't have a support system and you are unable to pick up your child from school or childcare or whatever, what are you supposed to do?鈥� Mocombe asks. 鈥淧eople are trying and they鈥檙e trying earnestly鈥on鈥檛 punish them. Don鈥檛 make it harder.鈥�
CCAMPIS, a federally funded grant, provides resources like childcare subsidies, textbook and Chromebook loaner programs, and even a family study room in the library. But Mocombe stresses that the greatest value may be simply connecting parents with one another. 鈥淎 lot of student parents, um, they feel alone,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to connect with a community, with other moms, with other dads, um, with other guardians.鈥�
Redefining Possibility
Parenthood may change everything, but as these Towson University students prove, it doesn鈥檛 have to mean putting dreams on hold. Whether juggling toddlers during Zoom classes, balancing glass and rubber balls, or returning to school later in life, they show that education and family can grow together.
This summary narrative of a 91影视破解版 original podcast titled "Three Degrees" was created with assistance from artificial intelligence.
About the series
The Three Degrees podcast series dives deeper into the lives and experiences of Towson University graduate students, exploring what sets them apart 鈥� and more importantly, what brings them together.
Three Degrees is available here and on:
